Blank are for Blank

Do you ever find yourself saying the wrong thing while trying to redirect your toddler or preschooler? STOP! DON’T! QUIT! Language can often propel your youngin’ into doing exactly the opposite of what you want them to do. Instead of telling them what they can’t do, tell them what they can do.

Imagine your little one jumping on the couch repeatedly. This could hurt them, the couch, or someone else, instead of telling them to “Stop jumping on the couch!” Try, “couches are for sitting, floors are for jumping.” This redirection works in all sorts of scenarios, but is used best when a replacement can be offered.

Your little one keeps climbing up the slide at the crowded playground, instead of “Don’t climb up the slide!” try, “Stairs are for climbing, slides are for sliding/sitting” while leading your child to the stairs. This helps them understand the expectation (slides are for sliding) and where they can appropriately use the unwanted behavior (stairs are for climbing.) You are also enforcing the boundary while you walk them to the stairs. Now you may be wondering, well- then what the heck do I do if they keep trying to climb up the slide? Kids do well with the rule of 3. If after three repetitions of “slides are for sliding, stairs are for climbing” your little one still isn’t getting it, move to a different location or activity. The art of distraction is major at this age, and flexing to a new activity can help break the cycle they are stuck in. This doesn’t have to be a new thing at the playground, you can redirect with a water, bathroom, or snack break, introducing a toy, or maybe this is a good time to leave the area entirely.

Blank are for blank language helps kiddos learn the expectation and an appropriate replacement behavior. Don’t, stop, quit language tells them what they shouldn’t be doing, but not the why or where they can do it.

An unsavory behavior we all encounter with littles is food throwing. Instead of, “quit throwing your food!” Try “Food is for eating, balls are for throwing! I see you want to throw. When you are all done with lunch we can throw your ball!” or “Food is for your mouth, not for the floor.” For tips and tricks on ending food throwing check out this post!

The most important part of this redirection strategy is stating appropriate behavior. In the beginning of trying this strategy you will likely need to be physically involved with your little one. Removing them from the couch and placing them on the floor, walking them to the stairs, providing a ball for throwing. With age depending on how old your little is, or with practice- your kiddo will get the hang of the redirection and need less of your physical help getting there.